God Bless the Avocado!

This past December, my good friend Lindsay and I traveled to Florida, where we experienced freshly-picked citrus and the largest avocados I’ve ever enjoyed!  After enjoying a solid week of avocado-based breakfasts, I became fascinated and intrigued with the sensory-inducing fruit.  Actually, I’ve become a little obsessed, not gonna lie… Below are some fast facts about the gloriously luscious fatty testicle.  No, really.  Read on.

*An avocado is actually a member of the berry family.

*In the past, the avocado had a well-entrenched reputation for inducing sexual prowess and wasn’t purchased or consumed by any person wishing to protect their image from slanderous assault. Growers had to sponsor a public relations campaign to dispel the ill-founded reputation before avocados became popular.

*Avocados got their name from the Spanish explorers. They couldn’t pronounce the Aztec word for the fruit, know as ahuacatl, “testicle,” because of its shape and its tendency to grow in pairs. The Spanish called the aguacate, leading to the guacamole we know today.

*Avocados must reach full maturity before they are picked, however, they do not soften on the tree. The tree can actually be used as a storage unit by keeping the fruit on the tree for many months after maturing. A tree refrigerator!!!

*For women who struggle with irregular periods, avocados can be used to induce menstruation, and if eaten regularly, can significantly increase fertility and regular menstruation.  Additionally, their omega-rich fats and creamy texture are a well-known aphrodisiac.

*One avocado contains over twice the amount of potassium than one banana,  contains more protein than any other fruit, is full of healthy monounsaturated fat, and contains more lutein and carotene than carrots!

*In ancient Mexico, avocados were mashed up and spread onto a woman’s vagina to ease the pain of childbirth and uh…lubricate.  This is still often practiced in rural areas.

*Each pair of fruit takes exactly 8-9 months to blossom, grow leaves, and grow until ripe.  So basically the seed is a wee little avocado fetus.  In turn, avocados are the richest natural source of folic acid, essential for any pregnant woman.  If I ever have a baby, I’ll probably name it Avocado…unless that’s like naming it Testicle…maybe not so good…

*The Hass avocado tree is the only type of avocado, of 500 varieties, that produces fruit all year!  And that’s without GMOs and nasty human interventions!  What other fruit does THAT?  In 1935, Rudolph Hass, a postman, brought a seed with him to California after delivering something to Mexico; he planted it in 1935, and it is STILL producing fruit all freaking year.  If that’s not something to admire, I don’t know what is!

freshly-picked avocados + grapefruit=YUM

So what did we learn today?  That we should all eat more avocados, and appreciate their creamy testicle-ridden, orgasm-inducing, baby-growing, eternally-gifting year-round goodness!  Now go eat one!  …or five.  This morning I had an amazing fruit salad of kiwi, blueberries, strawberries, and avocado–try it out!